Learning to put yourself first!

I'm currently reading 'Your Life On Purpose' by Mathey Mckay, John P. Forsyth and Georg H. Eifert. It really has helped me to clarify what's really important to me. Like something I always known, but hadn't been able to get enough distance to see and verbalise - let alone act on, this book has enabled me to see the value of putting my self-development first. Just like you attend to your own oxygen mask, before you help others, as the plane looses cabin pressure, (thankfully I haven't had to put this into practice yet). Not only do I now see how important this first step is towards increasing valued living, I can now see how vital self-compassion is to me and for me, just like oxygen.

Coming into contact with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in 2007, as a much needed evolution of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has helped me to notice more and more those times when I haven't been holding this value as a vital activity. I feel very grateful to be able to use ACT in my work as a Psychotherapist, and savour seeing how liberating ACT can be even for people who have been suffering for years and years, and who have tried everything else. I value helping people to cultivate their own self-compassion. I can only fully move towards this value by putting my own self-compassion first. Self-compassion for me is in question in how I do everything I do. Noticing I can slow down to a gentler pace in all activities that are important. Steve Hayes often talks about the need to hold values lightly, just as we can learn to hold thoughts lightly. Self-compassion is the how for me of holding lightly. It is learning to become more and more self-forgiving (plenty of opportunities for that, thanks mind!) Giving yourself self-compassion especially at times when your mind says you need bring out a big stick to yourself, is the most life enhancing thing you can do imho.